Consuming and Producing

I started this blog because somebody who I take to be very successful told me to.

He said it was the single best thing he could recommend for people trying to figure out who they are and what they can do with their lives. It was how he turned his life around, and is now how he finances what sounds like almost an ideal lifestyle to me.

An unexpected side effect of trying to churn out consistent–stuff (I won’t call it content yet, since it’s not much more than a dignified journal right now) is that I have been exposed to other people with other blogs that have already found their slant.

One of my favorites has been Dave Barnart’s Blog, written by a Methodist pastor who ministers to those who are “burned out” by church in the traditional sense.

He also is a self proclaimed feminist and champion of the LGBTQ community.

I didn’t know what the labels were from the outset. I’m glad I didn’t. It would have affected the way I read that first article on the angels of indeterminate gender who visited Lot.

The forced habit of producing has magnified the need for consumption. Like good food, a new mind habit requires consistent nutritional thought content.

There is a natural ebb and flow here. I am searching for something, so my writing is a form of digestion for my self discovery, which takes time to process.

I find I write better after a gestation of new ideas. During the actual consumption of ideas, I’m “full”–I don’t feel like making anything out of them.

Part of this is the increasing awareness of the persuasive element implicit in writing meant to be consumed, which I judge a blog ultimately to be. Without persuasion, writing becomes dreadfully uninteresting. It has no bite, no nutrition for other minds. It becomes a journal for a passive stream of consciousness.

Going back to that blog I mentioned, it is interesting the process we go through when we are changing our thoughts about something.

I wrote earlier about the difficulties in changing someone’s beliefs. It requires a change in the tiny voice inside of us, beneath the crusty, well defended exterior.

I have been hard set against elements of the LGBTQ “ideology” (as opposed to people), but I have been aware of, and even resented, how discouragingly unsure my footing was on those grounds.

But when you reach that internal tipping point inside where something begins to make sense, something that once you fiercely rejected (but with some doubts), it’s funny how you feel like you’ve already thought this for a while now. The ground of doubts have long fertilized the soil, long been a pain in your side, have made you uncomfortable.

Change does not happen overnight.

I hope to find my slant soon, that my own thoughts may mature into a perspective that becomes content for the hungry minds of others. And that I may also serve others, especially the most vulnerable and dispossessed in so doing.

And God help me, can I make a living doing that, too?

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